Orgasm and Ejaculation
Understanding what happens in your body when you orgasm and ejaculate will help you understand why the exercise you will learn can be so effective in improving your sexual pleasure.
When a man has sex or is masturbating, he eventually reaches a point of maximum sexual excitement and stimulation and feels himself ‘coming’, sometimes referred to as ‘the point of no return’. This is that short period when he feels ejaculation and orgasm are inevitable and cannot be stopped.
It is then that a spinal reflex causes the rapid rhythmic contractions of the PC muscle, along with contractions of muscles in or around the anal sphincter, rectum, perineum (the area between your legs bordered by your anus at the back and your scrotum at the front), urethra and prostate gland. It is these rhythmic contractions that account for the spurting action of semen during ejaculation.
At first the intervals between muscle contractions are about 0.8 seconds but these rapidly become longer and the contractions become slower with the intensity of the contractions tapering off after the first three or four initial spasms.
The word ‘orgasm’ refers specifically to these sudden and rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that release accumulated sexual tension and result in an intensely pleasurable sensation. Orgasms can vary from person to person and for each individual at different times. For some it can be an explosive rush of overwhelming sensations where all inhibitions and self-control are lost.
At other times and for other people it can be subtler and less intense experience. The varying intensities of orgasm can be due to physical factors such as fatigue, length of time between orgasms, mood, relation to your partner and the condition of the PC muscle.
Of course, orgasm is not just a pelvic event but also involves an alteration of brain wave patterns as well as the tensing of muscles in many other parts of the body. However, the chief focus of sensation for most men occurs with the intensely pleasurable contractions of the PC muscle, anal sphincter, rectum, perineum and genitals.
Much like working out your biceps can give you better definition and more upper arm strength, the PC muscle can also be exercised to improve it’s strength and condition.
Because the muscle is so intimately connected to the pleasure of orgasm, toning up the PC can help you not only strengthen and better define your erections but also increase the pleasurable sensations experienced when coming.
Discovering the Pubococcygeus Muscle
Your first task is to identify and locate your own PC muscle. There are several ways of doing this. Try each one and find out which is best for you. Don’t worry if you cannot feel anything with any of the techniques, this is common in men who, with little or no previous awareness of the PC muscle, have let the muscle weaken. You may need to try longer and harder to feel the muscle but the rewards will more than repay your effort.
Firstly, when you go to the toilet, try to stop the flow of urine one or more times before your bladder is empty. If you didn’t manage it the first time don’t give up; keep trying every time you visit the toilet. Even if you only manage to reduce the flow slightly, you are still using the PC muscle to do so. The important thing is to feel some kind of movement, however slight, inside your body.
Remember to let your bladder empty completely as normal at the end of this test. Now try repeating that feeling when you are not urinating, replicating that tightening sensation you felt in the toilet.
Another test can be performed when you next have an erection. Can you make your penis jump or twitch substantially by tensing the PC muscle?
Try tensing the anal sphincter muscle as if to stop a bowel movement. Does your penis twitch slightly when you do this?
It should do because, as we have seen, these muscles are all connected. Make sure you only tense the muscles of your rectum and not the large muscles of your bottom or the upper muscles of your legs and thighs.
A third but more invasive method could prove more effective for you. It involves gently inserting your index or middle finger just inside your anus.
First wash and then lubricate your finger liberally with a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly and check that you do not have sharp or jagged fingernails as you could damage the delicate lining of the rectum. If necessary, clip your fingernails down before performing this test. Relax and slowly and gently insert your finger. Once your finger is inside, try tensing your anal sphincter to grip your finger.
Not only should you finger be gripped but you should feel a pulling or tensing sensation running forward from your anus between your legs to what feels like the base of your scrotum.
Readers perform these more invasive checks at their own risk. If you don’t like the idea of inserting a finger inside yourself, put a finger or two on your perineum, the area between your legs bordered by the base of your scrotum at the front, you’re anus at the back and your thighs on either side.
Press down gently and try clenching your anus and see if you feel the sheath of muscle under the skin move. Again, try to keep your thigh, back and abdominal muscles relaxed. If you felt something, if only very subtly, that’s good, but if you didn’t, do not worry because you are not alone. See below for an illustration of the internal structure of the perineum.
It has been found that approximately one third of the population will be unable to contract the PC muscle voluntarily or to only a small degree. If you have never been aware of this muscle before you may not have used it voluntarily in a long time, if ever, so a greater effort is needed to locate and then manipulate it.
Remember, the stronger your PC muscle, the more enjoyable sex will ultimately be so perseverance and patience may be needed in equal degree in the early stages. Having difficulty? The following common observations may help you decide.
When you try to draw up, draw in or otherwise tense the perineum, no actual retraction occurs, instead there is a tightening of the gluteus muscles (the large muscles that make up the ‘cheeks’ of your bottom).
In an effort to close the urethra while urinating, only a slight twitching is observed and the urine either slows down slightly or does not stop at all.
When contracting the anus as if to stop a bowel movement, the action is limited to a puckering of the anus, and no retraction, or drawing up of the anus is felt.
Do not worry if any of the above apply to you, it just indicates that your PC muscle is quite weak but will still respond, just like any other muscle, to the application of exercise.